Choices

My mom always says, God only gives you as much as you can handle. I'm not sure if I totally agree with that statement because there were definitely times throughout this journey where I was thinking, are you kidding me?!?! With that being said...I'm still here.

What I have found, not only with this, but with other jolts throughout my life, when the worst possible outcome happens, the scary truth comes out, or my greatest fear is realized, I have found that 10 seconds after, 5 minutes after, 2 days after...I'm still here. Life went on. The world didn't end as I so greatly feared it would.  It might not be pleasant, it might not be good, but it keeps going. There is a choice to make with that. To make it good and continue living. To keep going as life does.

"Your power is always in your response, never in your circumstance." I love that quote by Mastin Kipp, it is so true and so powerful.

Everyone is faced with that moment. That crossroads (we're actually faced with "it" many times). Are you going to face it and accept the challenge head on? Or are you going to turn your back on it? Run and hide from it? Running and hiding was my specialty. "It" being anything negative, bad, scary, etc. that I didn't want to deal with or face. I was a master at stuffing things away, putting it on the back burner until enough time would eventually pass and I had convinced myself and others it was no longer an issue. This was different though, you can't run and hide from cancer and its aftermath. I have an every second of the day reminder of it in my mouth. Every time I swallow, bite, chew, smile, I am reminded of it. I had to face this, which in turn meant I had to face myself. I'll say it again, your power is always in your response, never in your circumstance.

Everyday it's a choice, not just with this, but with anything. The good, the bad, and the ugly...what are you going to do with it? You have that power. Life's lemons usually hold with it a major opportunity to learn, grow, or change. We just usually don't see it that way. Joseph Campbell was right, we're all on a heroes journey, we just don't know it. Some answer the call, some don't. I can proudly say that I have. This experience has forced me to face things that I've buried my entire life...and I love it!! I want more. I crave the stories, experiences, and lessons others have learned. It's lead me down a more open hearted and open minded path full of meditation, juicing, authors, books, and ideas all of which I would have shunned away from prior to all this.

One of the very first books I read once I began to deal with this had an opening line that instantly grabbed me, I remember thinking "Woah." It's still one of my favorite books by one of my favorite authors with one of my favorite quotes, "Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser:

"How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be."

Always remember...Be thankful. Everyday.